So, according to the date stamp on my previous post, it appears as though it's been almost a month since I've created a new entry. Also, I've had a few people tell me that I need to write a new entry. Well, here it is, back by popular demand!! (Ok, maybe it was just 2 or 3 people, but that's popular enough for me)
Anyway, I spent a good couple hours debating about what I wanted to write about this time. Was it going to be about decorations, or possible special vehicle choice (more on that at a later date), or be more fashion centric? Naaaaah. I decided it was going to be about something WAY more interesting. Arguments and Misunderstandings!
It's inevitable. You are going to argue about something with the person you're going to marry. They are going to misinterpret something you say, or you're going to misinterpret something they say.
In the interest of full disclosure, and so you don't think I try to make it sound like I have more wisdom than I know what to do with, I can be a dick. I'm stubborn. I'm loud. I'm obnoxious. This makes me especially susceptible to getting into arguments. I tend to misunderstand what someone is trying to say if I feel like they're not being clear enough, and then I escalate. Ask my wonderful fiancee Devon, she will agree with me 100%.
Fortunately, I have found someone who is not a fan of escalation. So, as I am getting worked up, so is she, but she internalizes a lot of things. This makes our arguments not as bad as I've experienced in the past.
In my defense, a lot of times I just need to get my frustrations out and then I'm much more agreeable. I'm not saying that it's right, it's just one way of coping.
Anyway, the point I'm trying to make is this, when you and your future partner-in-marriage are arguing about some detail of the wedding, ask yourself this: Is this really important??
Whether you're arguing about flowers, colors, guests, ANYTHING, does it really matter? Is your marriage going to be much more successful because you won the argument about not inviting weird Cousin Sally? No. It really won't be.
I fall victim to this, just like my fiancee does, just like I'm sure anyone reading this does. These little details about your wedding day are ultimately insignificant. When you look back on your wedding day 10, 20, 50 years from now, you're not going to remember if weird Cousin Sally was there. You won't remember if you went with this photographer over that photographer.
What you will remember, if you've made your marriage successful, is that you married someone who ultimately was an amazing partner in your life. You're going to remember the look in his eye as he said "I do". You're going to remember the tears in her eye as you recited your vows. And, I guarantee this part, you're only going to remember seeing each other as she comes walking down the aisle. No one else is going to exist in that moment except for the two of you.
Remember that: no one else in that moment except for the two of you. THAT is what's most important.
So put aside your little peccadilloes. Put your ego on the shelf. Take a deep breath and remember one thing: you love each other. Everything else doesn't matter.
D, I swear I'll remember these words the next time I'm getting frustrated!
Til next time
Tony
